Overall Weight Loss Goal

A Rough Couple of Days

I went back to work – from home on Monday, and then full time in Baltimore yesterday.  It’s been rough.  I’m tired, and cranky, which truly doesn’t make for a very good combination.  On top of that, the scale hasn’t moved this week, and I have this forboding voice in my head saying, “Even this didn’t work.”

I know this will work.  I know that my body is adjusting and healing, and that is common to hit a stall in the 2nd or 3rd week from surgery.  But mentally it plays with you and gets you down.  When you’ve tried everything else, and resort to surgery, and then numbers stall so early out, well, its frustrating.  But I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.  It’s all I can do.

I said on Facebook this morning…I can do this.  I will do this.  It’s my turn.  This is my time.

Not Good

Today has been a bad day for food and liquids.  I just don’t want anything.  I can barely get food in today – just don’t want it.  I forced two ham and cheese roll-ups for lunch, and a couple of pieces of Laughing Cow Lite wedges for breakfast, but nothing else.  I made some turkey chili for dinner…but I’m not hungry.

It’s so hard to eat when you are. not. hungry.

I know I need to get in my protien – and I’ve gotten in my shakes today – but food is just not on my radar today.

Sigh.  I haven’t gotten enough fluids in either.  I’ll get in it before bed.  Sigh again.

Another NSV

I fit in a 1X sweater today, and my size 24s fit.  Yay!

Back to Work

I was originally supposed to return to work tomorrow, but thanks to a snafu in the disability process, they told me today was my return to work day.  I had to log on to my email this afternoon and do some work, and I’ll actually return to the office tomorrow.

Am I ready to go back to work?  Physically yes.

Mentally, well, I’m just not sure.  Its going to be a big adjustment, trying to balance my work schedule, my excercise, and my food.  I’m really going to have to plan things out.

In other news, I got the statement today from the insurance company.  After they told me my sugeon was in network prior to the surgery, it turns out he’s not.  They did pay $4,000 of the the $6,000 bill, but I’m going to have to come up with the other $2,000.  I think I’m just going to have to work out a payment arrangement with them next week.  $100 a month or something until I can pay it off.  I’ve hyet to receive the hospital’s bill eyt.  Hopefully that will be covered.  It was $18,000.

Bariatric surgery is not cheap.  But, if you figure you pay $2,025 a year for the rest of my life , vs. $2,000 co pay for the surgery, then, well, I guess I come out ahead.  Its worth it to save my life.

Blech

Something didn’t agree with me today at all.  I feel so crappy.  I didn’t eat anything today that I haven’t eaten before, but I could barely get in any lunch, and dinner was a no go at all.  I just do. not. feel. well.  Gah…I’ll be glad when this day is over.

The Sun is Shining! Finally!

I woke up to a beautiful day, and after three days of exercising inside, I’m heading back up to Havre de Grace for a walk at the pier today.  It’s chilly, but that’s ok…I love the fresh air and to see the beauty of the Bay as I’m walking.

I have found the walking to be so beneficial.  It gives me time alone with my thoughts – and time to plan my day.  Today will be a good day.  I’m cleaning this morning because my girlfriend is coming over for a craft day/girls’ day today.  Her boyfriend Mike is off hunting with my husband, so we can do girly things.  Cleaning is great exercise as well.

I had a NSV last night.  When I got home from my Mom’s, I decided to try on some 22/24s that I had tried on last week that were still too small.  This included 4 blouses and a pair of jeans (without lycra).  I put the blouses on, and although they are still a bit tight, I can wear them, so I should be able to be comfortable in them in a could of weeks.  I also tried on the jeans.  The last time I tried them on (which was only about a week and a half ago) there was no way they fit.

So, last night, I pulled them on, got them up over my hips (farther than they went before) and thought, ”There is no way these are going to even button.”  And then low and behold, they buttoned.  And then I though, “They are tight, there’s no way they are going to zip.”  I sucked it in a bit, and boom, they zipped.  OMG they zipped.  O.M.G.  They were tight, there’s no question about that, but they fit!!!!  In a week I’m figuring they’ll actually be a little more comfortable.

My First Big Test

My nephew, Mitchell, decided to come home to surprise the family this weekend for the holiday, so my Mom and I had decided to stop by today and visit him.  We found out that my sister and her family were also going to come up, so we all decided we were going to go to lunch.

I was petrified.

Going to lunch meant eating out.  Out of my comfort zone.  I decided not to make any noise about it, because I hadn’t seen my nephew since he was home last Christmas.  They decided to go to Red Robin for lunch, so off we went.

I got to the restaurant, and scoured the menu, trying to find something, anything that would fit my menu requirements – mushie, high protien, small serving….and I could find nothing to fit the bill.  I was starting to sweat a bit.  I wasn’t hungry (still haven’t felt hunger since the surgery), but I knew I needed to eat.  I heard my mom talking about getting a bowl of chili, but I couldn’t find it on the menu.  Finally, I found it on the back, in tiny print under soups and sandwiches.  Finally.  I ordered just a cup of chili, held the tortilla chips and raw onions.  I ate half of it, and was satisfied.  So, I think I passed my first test.

My nieces and nephew asked me questions about the surgery today.  They thought I could still eat normally.  They thought I had a huge incision.  I showed them my incisions (which are basically scars now) and told them I ate about 600 calories per day.  My niece Joanna, her jaw dropped.  How cute.  She’s got a great little body and works out hard, so knowing that I ate less than her was a jolt for her.  I love that kid.

A Very Gastric Bypass Thanksgiving

So, today was Thanksgiving.  Bob and I stayed home here by ourselves, which is fine, as there are few temptations here to get me in trouble.

I cooked a cornish game hen, stuffing, mashed potatos, corn, fresh baked bread, and gravy.  For Bob, I made a Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie.  He stuffed his plate, and I let him…it is Thanksgiving, afterall.

My plate, however, was a dessert sized plate.  On it, I had a smidge of the dark meat from the hen, a tiny spoonful of mashed potatos, a tiny spoonful of corn, a tiny spoonful of stuffing (yum…), and I made a spoonful of pumpkin puree with some cinnamon and sweet-n-low.  I had a quarter of a slice of the bread.  I did use a little of the gravy to wet things up since I’m supposed to be on mashed foods, and I didn’t bother to mash, but I did chew things very well.  I still couldn’t finish what was on my plate.  The dog got the crust to the bread, as well as the corn and potatos.  I allowed myself a little taste of everything, but got full pretty quick – which is the whole point of the surgery, no?

I’m proud of mysef.  Bob is going hunting this weekend, so I packaged up the leftovers and had him take them downstairs – the stuffing will get me if it is somewhere that I can see it.  Otherwise, out of site, out of mind.  He’s to take the bread with him, as well as the pumpkin pie.  I don’t want to take any chances.

I’m truly surprised at how having just a taste of everything was really satisfying.  Holidays before I’d stuff myself until I was so full I was sick.  I was never really satisfied with it, but I was stuffed, and uncomfortable, an inevitably 5 pounds heavier.  This year, I was satisfied and got to taste everything.  The taste was what was important.  And believe me, nothing tasted better than that stuffing.  It’s definitely got to be out of site out of mind!

I am so thankful that I’ve been given a second chance at my life.  This is turning out to be an incredible journey, and I’m just so thrilled and excited to be starting it!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Two Week Primary Care Follow Up

I’m two weeks out from surgery (and one day) and I had my primary care follow up today.

First of all – weigh in – 286 pounds.  That’s down 7 from last week, 18 since surgery, and 35 from my highest weight.

My primary care doctor is thrilled.  I am officially off all my diabetes medications and blood pressure meds.  I’m down to one cholesterol med and my metoprolol for my heart.  Wooo Hooo! 

I see my surgeon again in two weeks, and I see my primary care again in January.

I’m so glad I’ve had this surgery.  I’m reborn.  My life is starting again and I’m so thankful.

Nearly Two Weeks Down

Tomorrow it will be two weeks since my re-birthday.  It’s gone so fast.  I have really been amazed at how fast these two weeks have flown.

I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday with my primary care physician to go over my medications.  I’m hoping to be able to come off some more of them, like my cholesterol meds and possibly my other blood pressure meds.  I’m going to hold off on my weigh in until I see the doctor on Wednesday, to see what his scales say.  according to mine, I’m down to about 288, which is to be expected in the 2nd week – the weightloss is usually slower in the 2nd week because your body is busy going, “WTF?”

I’ve been walking every day – at least 30 minutes.  The weather is supposed to be pretty crappy for the next few days so my back up plan is in place (yay).    I have the Gazelle set up in the basement.

Thursday will be my first test.  We are staying home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year because I’m so limited on what I can eat.  I’m fixing Bob a cornish hen (and will take a little of it), some mashed potatos, stuffing, and some corn.  I got him a pumpkin pie for his dessert.  I’m not tempted by the pie, but I’ll have a smidge of his hen, a spoonful of stuffing and I’ll fix myself some SF applesauce for my dinner.  Not exciting but I’ll get a taste of everything.  We’ll probably do something similar for Christmas this year.

The biggest downfalls are the fact that I’m very cold now.  All the time.  And, my period has come in like gangbusters…I’m hoping it ends before I go back to work next week.

I got my short term somewhat worked out.  They may have to cut me an off cycle check, but it turns out they just got my paperwork late.  Of course.

So, that’s the latest update.