Two years.

And where am I?

Well, I still hover at 183 pounds.  My body likes it here.  My doctor’s happy.  I’m happy.  And life is good.

Which is probably why I haven’t posted here much. 

Not that my journey is over in any way, shape, or form, but I feel that my weightloss journey has come to an end, and my maintenance journey has begun.  It’s time to get to the business of me being me without constantly nagging myself as to what goes in my mouth and analyzing every little bit of it.

That’s just the thing.  I don’t analyze anymore.  I’ve come to the point where I don’t have to think about every action, because now it is part of who I am.  I still have to watch what I eat, and be ever mindful of how easily I can still fail at this, but as for now, I consider myself a success.  And that makes me happy.

Two years in and of itself means a lot of changes in a person.  When you throw in a massive weightloss on top of that, and a life altering surgery, well, you become a different person all together.  For the first year, it was all about the weightloss, and the surgery, and what it was doing to my body. 

I learned that in the second year, it was more about learning to be happy with the person I was, with the person I had become, and with the person I am going to be.  And I have finally learned to be happy with who I am without thinking about the weight, or the physicality, or the mental aspects of spending my life morbidly obese.  I am me.  Bea.  And Bea is a pretty awesome person.  No matter what she weighs.

So with that, my dear readers, I have made the decision to put this blog to rest.  I’ll leave it up, and may post occasionally, but to dwell on the weightloss anymore at this point, it’s counter productive to me.  It’s time to deal with life. 

In fact, I’ve taken a bit of a blog break all around.  But I do plan on returning to regular blogging soon.  And if you still enjoy who I am, then I more than encourage you to visit me at my other blog.  I fully intend on just getting to the business of be me.

Thank you, my dear readers, for going on this journey with me.  Your encouragement has meant the world, and I hope you have learned from my journey.  If you are considering bariatric surgery, then I fully encourage you to learn about your surgery, and yourself.  And start a blog.  It’s amazing to go back and read my entries and my own transformation.

Thanks for reading, my friends.  Thanks.

Once I get my ass back to exercising regularly, that will help too.  My knee is doing a lot better.  I’m back to full weight bearing, which means I’ve finally (after two months) ditched the crutches, and I actually have been walking pretty well.  Lots of swelling, and pain by the end of the day, but PT is working, and I’m regaining strength and flexibility – both are very important.  After my first knee sugery 3 years ago, it literally took me 18 months to go up and down the steps foot over foot.  Yesterday, I went both up (easier) and down(very hard) the stairs foot over foot without too many problems.  I can also stand my full weight on my right leg (briefly) and that took me six months the last time.

Progress!

Sometimes I am amazed that at this point, I can still fill such a tight restriction.  It makes me very happy with my decision to have GB.

So far so good today.  I did add a sugar free yogurt for lunch, but I’m doing this program a wee bit modified to make sure I get my necessary calories. 

The point of my surgery was to teach myself to eat better.  Just because I CAN eat it doesn’t mean I SHOULD eat it.

Another thing I need to get back to is drinking all my fluids.  I haven’t been so hot at that lately.  But I’m going to get there, by hook or by crook.

Wish me luck!

And last night I actually did some exercise – if you count PT.  I did the bike.  I did the total gym (although I’m really NOT sure I’m supposed to be doing this because I think it counts as squats).  I did bridges (great for the ass and abs).  My knee hurt like a crack ho last night, but I did it.

And I didn’t over indulge during the hurricane or subsquent two days where we were without power, had 3.5 inches of water in our basement or a tree down in our front yard.  GO ME!  No stress eating!  YAY.

Now, I gotta keep this up!

I joined ediets.  I know, I know.  But I need something to hold me accountable, and cash is king.

Protein Shake – 1 scoop chocolate pure protein powder and 8oz 1% milk with ice, and 1/2 c. of oatmeal with blueberries and a tsp of chopped walnuts

Lunch:  3 slices of ham (1 serving), 2 oz, cheddar, 2 dill pickle slices, 1/2 c sliced peaches (rinsed but they were canned in juice) and 1c of popcorn (GRR) – popcorn is not pictured

Dinner tonight will be: 6oz baked croaker (fish), 1/2 c boiled cabbage

Duhn duhn dhun…

Up 7 pounds.

Holy shit.

Time to get back to basics.  This morning, I had a protien shake and a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.  I need my oatmeal to keep things moving.  So, I had oatmeal, mixed with some frozen blueberries and about a tsp of chopped walnuts for some good fat.  Lunch will be tuna salad, and dinner is some fresh croaker that our friends gave us when we were on vacation this past week.

I know, I know.  7 pounds over 8 weeks should not freak me out quite so much, but it does.  I can’t exercise right now.  Can’t.  My knee won’t hold me as it is simply not strong enough to do a decent cardio work out.  Hell, I can’t even walk right now.  And I know I’ve been shoveling food in my face left and right.  CARBS.  CARBS ARE MADE OF EVIL.  So, it’s back to good proteins, lots of fruit and veggies, and upping the water intake.  No carbies.  NO NO NO.

Must. Lose. Seven Pounds.  Quickly.

Sigh.

I hate surgery.  And I hate my eating disorder.  For real.

As for bending the knee, the doctor bent it for the first time yesterday.  I had a really good ROM (range of motion) prior to surgery.  Yesterday, he bent it approximately 30 degrees and it hurt.  He bent it a second time at about 45 degrees and it really hurt.  Dr. Prodoehl, however, is thrilled with this.  I am now doing CPM (continual motion), which is essentially bending and straightening the leg for 15 minutes a day.  By the time I start physical therapy again on the 29th, he expects me to have all of my ROM back.  I’m thinking probably not.

He’s also ordered a muscle stimulator for me.  This will help rebuilt the muscles and tendons around my knee.  I’m still non-weight bearing until the 29th and then I can begin putting light weight on it.  Prior to getting out of the immobilizer, I was able to use my right leg with toe weight and get around without crutches.  Now not at all.  Even if I could put weight on my leg, it won’t hold me.  That should come with PT. 

As for PT, I called to set up my appointments and got Ken.  Now, I like Ken.  A lot.  Don’t get me wrong.  Ken is cool.  But he also has a tendancy to dig and dig at the knee and it hurts.  For this, I am worried.  I’m sure at first they’ll keep me to table exercises so as not to mess with the new cartalidge growing inside me.  I’m still not looking forward to it.

On the weight loss front, I learned yesterday that my pouch still works.  I ate something I shouldn’t have (too much grease) and immediately got sick.  Yay for a working pouch.

We’re going on vacation next week.  I’m excited!

I also had a bone density scan this week – my first.  The doctor ordered it for two reasons – one, I was due for one, and two, the amount of arthritis I have had him a bit worried.  We have a history of osteoperosis in my family.  I was interested in getting the bone density scan for another reason.  I’m now nearly two years out from my gastric bypass.  If you have ever researched gastric bypass, you know it comes with malabsorbtion issues.  One of those things that you don’t absorb as much of is your calcium.  Ever since surgery, I’ve been on a strict vitamin and supplement regimine, including a double dose of calcium on a daily basis.  As I approach my 40s (somewhat faster than even I want to believe), I’m even more concerned about calcium absorbtion.  I take two calcium supplements per day, as well as a dose of folic acid and additional vitamin D.

I am happy to report that after two years of my strict calcium therapy, my bone density scan was NORMAL!  W00T!  That means my vitamin therapy is working!  And I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.

I can not emphasize enough the importance of taking your vits after WLS.  You don’t get enough nutrition any longer to meet your daily needs.  So take those vitamins!

I started back to work last week, and will be working from home until I’m able to drive again.  Who knows when that will be.  I’m still in the immobilizer and on crutches.  Still not allowed to bend my leg or put weight on it.  Still going stir crazy.  The incision has healed up nicely, but the skin under the ace bandage (which is under the immobilizer) is really dry and flakey and itches like all get out.  I’ve been unwrapping it twice a day to slather it up with gold bond medicated lotion, which seems to help.  The knee cap is still swollen and sore to the touch, but the joint itself is feeling pretty good.  Weak, but good.  Not looking forward to starting PT or actually bending the leg.  I imagine that it’s going to be quite painful.

As for food, meh.  I’ve finally gotten my system back on track.  I’ve been eating a lot of fruit and trying to limit my carbs, but I haven’t exactly paid attention to my portion sizes (ok, the pouch tells me when to stop, but still, lots of snacking going on).  I need to start doing that.  And my period is due next week, and I’m craving things like crazy.  UGH.  I miss exercise.  I can’t even just go out for a walk.  On the plus side, though, anyone who has used crutches for any period of time knows that it is an awesome upper body and ab workout.  I haven’t been able to accurately weigh myself – but I’m not gaining. 

I’m looking forward to getting my life back to normal.  For three weeks after surgery, EVERY time I ate I got horrible pains in my lower abdomen.  Of course, once I made an appointment with my doctor, those pains went away (so I cancelled the appointment).  I think it has a lot do to with the fact that I’m finally off the prescription pain killers and I’ve got out a lot of the carbs I was eating.  I’m trying to move around a bit more as well.

You know, one thing I didn’t anticipate was problems with my insurance covering my surgery.  I anticipated issues with gastric bypass, but figured knee surgery would be a no brainer.  Of course, I did understand that the procedure I had was relatively new, but didn’t think about it too hard.  So I got my explanation of benefits this week, and was surprised to see that there were two claims for the surgery.  One for the de novo graft (for $1,000) and one for the arthroscopy (for $1,400).  Don’t you know, they said that they wouldn’t pay for my arthroscopy.  Sigh.  The explanation was there was no proof the surgery was requried.  Which made me laugh because they had no issues paying for all the PT I had, or the MRIs and X-rays, and the ortho appointments.  Or the de novo graft itself.  I guess they figured the doctor was going to have to go through my throat to get to my knee, or glue it to the outside.  *shake my head*  So, I phone Blue Cross.  And spoke to a lovely lady.  And she told me that they said I had a similar surgery in the past three years, and didn’t see why I needed it again.

o.O

I calmly explained to her that yes, I did have an arthroscopy three years ago.  On my LEFT knee.  This one was my RIGHT knee.  Because, you know, I have TWO knees.

“Oh,” she says.

And then she put me on hold for 10 minutes, in which I’m sure she had to ask her supervisor what to do.  Needless to say, they resubmitted the claim for payment.

Sigh.

So that’s what’s going on around here.  I did manage to get out and see a movie (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 – AWESOME) and will be getting out next weekend with my Mom to go see The Help.  It wasn’t too bad at the theater, but my knee did ache after two hours of it hanging down.  Hopefully it will be  a little better by next weekend.  I have my one month follow up with my surgeon this week so hopefully we’ll see some progress.

Knee surgery is no joke y’all.  No joke at all.