Time To Get These Last 50 Pounds GONE

Starting today – back to logging food, monitoring my snacking, and kicking up the exercise AGAIN.  Sigh.  It’s a never ending battle, isn’t it?

Today, I’m planning about 1100 calories – I really need to log the food into SparkPeople because I don’t think that will be enough in contrast to the exercise, but we’ll see.  Here’s what’s on tap for today:

Breakfast:

  • 2 egg whites scrambled with 1 tsp of parmesan cheese, 1 tsp of milk, 1 tbsp of diced green peppers (scrambled in about a tsp of olive oil).
  • 1oz of cheddar cheese
  • 1/2 of a large orange
  • 1 slice of whole grain toast (dry)

Lunch

  • 1 can (2.5 servings) of albacore tuna in water mixed with 1 tbsp of chopped celery, 1 tsp of diced onion, and 1.5 tbsp of light mayo
  • 2 dill pickle spears
  • 1/2 small orange (I keep oranges sliced up in the fridge all the time, so I grabbed 4 slices for both breakfast and lunch – 4 from a big one and 4 from a small one)
  • 1 slice of whole grain toast

Dinner

  • 4oz pork roast (I have it in the crockpot now – yay!)
  • 1/2 cup of cooked carrots, onion and celery
  • 1/4 cup of diced potato (must start limiting those ebil carbs)

NO SNACKING.  NONE.  GRR.

I’m going to try to grab a workout tonight too – it depends on if my step-daughter is coming over or not.

That boils down to 1,046 calories, 93g of protein, 69g. of carbs, I think it was about 29g. of fat.

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I’m Still Here

Just busy busy busy.  I’m off work next week and promise some meaty posts!

Oh, Hello

I know…I know…not much with the posty lately.  My bad.

But honestly, there’s not been much to post about.  I’m really busy getting ready for the holidays, and work is a bit busy as well, so I just haven’t been able to get here too much.

The good news is, the scale is moving.  I’ve also decided to officially move my tickers when I officially weigh in at Dr. McKenna’s office – that way I don’t drive myself nutso bonkers.

Also, I’ve baked my head off and have managed NOT to sample the fare – easier now that I know it makes me sick when I do it.  I did make a batch of shortbread cookies that have no sugar in them, but I already took them up to my Mom’s so I’d stay out of them.  Evil buggers.  We’ll have them Christmas eve.

On the bad news front, the exercise has waxed and waned – but amazingly, when I cut BACK on the exercise, my weight began dropping again.  Hmmm…I’m wondering then if my body fat percentage has actually dropped and I’ve built muscle.  I’ve only really backed out on the exercise this week – just been tooooo busy and I’m exhuasted when I get home to even do the Wii or a DVD.  I promise I’ll start again Jan. 3rd like a good girl.

So, how’s by you?

Yay Me and Yoga Equals OW

So, yesterday, I had a big test of emotional eating.  I had to rush my husband to the hospital with heart issues.  Thankfully it doesn’t appear to be serious, but we’re still in the WTF was that phase and he’s seeing the cardiologist today.

And I didn’t eat my way through the emergency room.  I did have some peanut butter crackers, but in my defense, we were there for five hours and I was hungry.  Literally stomach growling hungry (which rarely happens anymore).  So, yeah, peanut butter crackers.  I figured they were a better choice than anything else.

And this morning, instead of saying, “Screw it, I’m exhausted from yesterday’s ordeal, I’m staying in bed until 5,” I got myself up and took myself down to the basement and did a yoga workout.

Ow.

Yoga hurts.

But I’ll get the hang of it.  Tomorrow gym, as long as it isn’t snowing, which it was when I got up this morning.

By the way, 20 minutes of yoga converts into 2,000 steps!  Yay!

UGH

So, I had a lazy weekend.  No exercise.  No guilt over what I ate.  And I didn’t eat anything I shouldn’t have eaten, but I snacked way too much and I didn’t make the best choices.

And last night, my body told me so.

Oh my lawdie.  I was in pain last night and I’m still feeling icky this morning.

Boo.

Lesson learned.

13 Months

So, as of today, I’m 13 months out.  I haven’t lost much this past month pounds-wise, BUT I can tell that the upgraded workout routine has really kicked in because my body shape is changing.  I’m gaining muscle and things are taking shape.

I’m not going to take monthly progress pics any longer.  I’m over a year out now, so I think taking the pics every three months now will give me some more perspective.  I see the biggest changes in my face this month.  It’s really thinned out – even more so. 

One of the biggest ways I can tell my body is changing (even if the scale isn’t) is the amount of extra skin I have.  I’ve had a lot.  Since early out.  But in the past month, with the addition of the different work outs and emphasis on strength training, the amount on my neck, back and upper thighs has really gotten a lot more.  I think I’m most annoyed at my neck (afterall, the rest is pretty much covered up by clothing).  I’ve worked my butt off (aaaahahahahahah) to not have a double chin anymore.  Except I do.  Only it’s not a fat double chin, it’s a turkey neck.  And I hate it.  It’s the one part that I’d be willing to have surgery one (at this point).  My thighs also look horrible now.  There is a LOT of extra skin on my upper thighs and there has been for a while, but now its even worse.  You can work on muscle tone all you want to, but when your skin is stretched that far for that long, it ain’t gonna snap back.  I’m not so worried about my stomach, back and upper arms as they are covered most of the time anyway, but my neck…blech.  And my thighs are actually uncomfortable.

So, my surgeon wants me to meet with a plastic surgeon for a consult.  I’m meh about it.  I know it’s not covered by my insurance unless I’m having documented physical evidence of a medical issue due to the excess skin.  At this point, I’m not – except for my thighs which are starting to rash.  But the surgeon’s office suggested that it may help me feel better about my body image if I just have the consult.  I think maybe after the new year.  A consult certainly can’t hurt.

So there you go – that’s what’s up with 13 months.  I feel this is all old “hat” now.  And that makes me happy.  I’m thrilled with the fact that the “bariatric rules” are no longer something I have to consciously think about – that they are now daily habit (protein first, no carbonation, no sugar, vitamins, exercise, blah blah blah).  I was just speaking to a woman at work how had lapband surgery last July.  She lost a ton of weight and looks fabulous.  She was telling me though that her body developed a reaction to the band and just two weeks ago had it removed.  And she’s scared.  Scared of doing this without her “tool.”  I told her, “Pam, you’ve got this.  You know the rules and you can do this.”  And I think she can.  She’s worried about hunger, and that’s understandable.  But she did say, “I know what to do now.  It’s part of who I am.  And I have to remember that.”

I feel the same way.  It’s part of who I am.

And the person I am now is a healthy person.  And victorious.  This battle is mine.

Big Steaming Pile of Stress

So, my life is in a bit of a tailspin right now.  I have a ton going on at work, and we (read I) are having money issues right now, and on top of that, there are the holidays to contend with.

I am proud of myself in that I have baked a ton of goodies for Christmas this year and have tasted none.  Of course the dumping thing helps with that.  I can’t seem to stay out of the Chex Mix that I made, so I’ll be bringing that in to work tomorrow, and that is part of the stress eating that I am trying so hard to deal with.  I’ve been employing a lot of techniques from 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food and I’m learning, but it is a slow process.

I have dropped from 193 down to 191.  It’s been a slow, agonizing process, but I do believe that mixing up the exercise routines and getting involved in consciously looking at my eating is helping.

I’m also in a funk now because a good friend’s wife lost her battle with cancer on Sunday night.  I’m so sad for Drew and their son, but worse than that, it is bringing up some memories of when my sister died, and I don’t know how to deal with that yet (without placating myself with food).

But, I will pull myself together.  This is a true test of how I’m learning to deal with raw emotions without stuffing my face.

One day at a time.  One hour at a time.  One moment at a time.

I will overcome.

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