UGH…I Repeat…UGH UGH UGH

So, now that I can put a little weight on my knee, I decided to get on the scale this morning.

Duhn duhn dhun…

Up 7 pounds.

Holy shit.

Time to get back to basics.  This morning, I had a protien shake and a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.  I need my oatmeal to keep things moving.  So, I had oatmeal, mixed with some frozen blueberries and about a tsp of chopped walnuts for some good fat.  Lunch will be tuna salad, and dinner is some fresh croaker that our friends gave us when we were on vacation this past week.

I know, I know.  7 pounds over 8 weeks should not freak me out quite so much, but it does.  I can’t exercise right now.  Can’t.  My knee won’t hold me as it is simply not strong enough to do a decent cardio work out.  Hell, I can’t even walk right now.  And I know I’ve been shoveling food in my face left and right.  CARBS.  CARBS ARE MADE OF EVIL.  So, it’s back to good proteins, lots of fruit and veggies, and upping the water intake.  No carbies.  NO NO NO.

Must. Lose. Seven Pounds.  Quickly.

Sigh.

I hate surgery.  And I hate my eating disorder.  For real.

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Two Weeks Out

I’m two weeks out from knee surgery today.  Not exercizing and eating too many carbs (thanks to my husband) are really starting to get to my poor stomach.  I’m living on gas ex and pepto bismal.  Which also means I’m taking control of the menu as of TODAY.  UGH.

My knee is repairing well, we think.  There’s no way of really knowing until I start PT.  And at this point, we have no idea when that will be (reminds me, I need to send an update to my therapists letting them know surgery went ok).  I got all the staples and two stitches out yesterday.  That was the first time I’d actually seen my knee (except for a peek here and there) since surgery.  Ew.  And I almost passed out when I got my stitches out.  Learned a valuable lesson – can’t watch that kind of thing…LOL.  My knee is still quite swollen, and the doctor said he had to do a lot more work that the initial MRIs let on.  I had three very large cartilage defects, numerous bone spurs, and tendons had to be cut (which means he did perform a lateral release).

Let me tell you folks, gastric bypass surgery has NOTHING on knee surgery.  After seven days from my gastric bypass, I was feeling great.  I’m two weeks out from knee surgery and still struggling.  Knee pain is there at night (not so much during the day), and getting around on crutches is a pain in the ass.  Non-weight bearing means I am not supposed to put any weight on it at all.  UGH.  And now, they’ve replaced my staples with steri-strips.  Well, I’m allergic to adhesives.  Which means my knee is itching UP A STORM.  LOL

I miss exercise.  I miss eating right. I’ve lost weight, but I’m not eating the right things, and I know I’m not getting enough water.   Need to get my head around all of this.  Sigh.

Pardon the Craptastic Mirror….

But I thought I’d post a recent pic…I’ve had some requests.  🙂

Commencing Operation Goal Weight

Alright Body.  I know you are loving hanging on to this weight.  I also know that as I get closer to my GW (175 per the surgeon) that you are stubborn and don’t wanna let go.  I also know that it is partly Mouth and Brain’s fault because they let things slip through they shouldn’t.

So, as of yesterday, we have launched Operation Goal Weight.  Time to kick it.  I know we have to be careful with the exercise right now (hello stupid knees – looking at a 2nd knee surgery in the near future) but we sure as hell can control what goes into the pouch. 

So, it’s back to weighing and measuring.  It’s back to watching our fat grams (ahem, instead of just watching them go into the mouth).  It’s time to up the water, condense the protein, and get our ass in gear to get to that finish line.  I’m not looking for a sprint here, but I sure am looking for some forward movement.  Time to break this stall.  Time to break through.  Time to move our ass and shrink.

We’re 18 months out now.  Holy crap on a cracker when did that happen?  18 months.  And we’re bouncing around 187 to 190 like it’s our freaking job.  It’s time for a new job body.  So let’s put it in motion.  Let’s do what we know we’re supposed to do.  Limit those carbs!  Up that protein!  Get rid of that extra fat servings!  Stop that snacking!!!

We have vacation coming up Body.  And I fully expect that you don’t fall down on the job.  Yes, we’ll be unable to control about 50% of the food environment, but of the 50% we can control, let’s make sure we do it up good.  No greasey potatos at Aunt Fabby’s!  No sour cream and guac with that wonderful mexican food!  No fried chicken!  No tamales (did I just say that?).  No! NO! NO! 

Let’s do it.  We have until November 11th.  That’s right – November 11th.  Let’s shake it like a polaroid picture!!!

Happy Easter Y’all!

We’re having a completely WLS friendly dinner tomorrow!  Ham and turkey breast, balsamic and green onion potato salad, turnip greens, deviled eggs, cucumbers in sour cream (low fat!), and a big old fruit salad. 

My easter basket (from my hubby) contained banana chips (NOM) and dried mixed berries.  Yay!

Goal before May 25th – lose the last 12 pounds to my doctor’s goal weight!

I’m a hot sexy bunny y’all!!

W00T! Aw Yeah Baby! I’m at the Grown Up Table Now!

It was always my dream to own a trenchcoat.  A gorgeous, camel colored trenchcoat.  I think they are classic and sophisticated looking.  And for years, they didn’t make them in my size, and if they did, they were not flattering – it looked more like a big ass camel colored tent.

So, last fall, I decided that I was going to reward myself with one for the spring.  I ordered a lovely trenchcoat, size 14, from Chadwicks.  It came shortly and it was beautiful.  Gorgeous.  And too small last fall.  But that’s ok – it was a spring coat.

And my body has changed in six months.  I’ve lost body fat and inches, even if the pounds have been creeping off slowly. 

Besides, it’s a Spring Coat.  Meant for warmer weather.  Which we have not had.  Until this weekend.  It is supposed to be nearly 70 degrees today before I leave work, and it was nearly 50 this morning.  Now, I had tried the coat on a few times this winter, just to see….but it was always a bit tight and kind of gaping a the buttons.  No pretty.

But this morning, I crossed my fingers and thought, “What the hell?”  And I put my beautiful camel colored trenchcoat on.

And it fit!!!!

Size 14!!!  A REGULAR size 14.  Not a plus sized 14.  REGULAR.  From a shop that runs small!! (I can wear some 14s already…but my coat…my beautiful coveted coat…well, I knew it was going to run small because Chadwicks does).  And it looks great.  And I felt grown up.  Now, I know that sounds funny coming from a 38 year old woman who has 8 grandkids…but I felt like a grown up. 

You see, when you are fat, you feel like you are perpetually dining at the kids table.  A metaphore so to speak.  As if to say, I want all those pretty grown up sophisticated things, but they don’t fit, and therefore I have to settle for wearing clothes that look as if they were designed for a 70 year old woman to wear on a cruise, or items that were made by Tessie the Tent Maker.  The constant wearing of clothing from the Kid’s Table.

But today, baby, I graduated to the grown up table.

In a beautiful, gorgeous, sophisticated, glamorous, Audry Hepburn style camel colored trench coat.

And because of that, I rock.

Pictures tonight, when my hubby can take ’em!  I actually woke him up this morning before work just to tell him my coat fit.  Yay!

20 Year Class Reunion

My 20 year highschool reunion was held this past Saturday.  I want to show you a wee comparison (I don’t have my senior picture scanned – although if I had my way it would be burned).  This is a picture of me my senior year – I weighed close to 250 pounds.

This was taken just before my reunion – 190 pounds (still grrrr).

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