Commencing Operation Goal Weight

Alright Body.  I know you are loving hanging on to this weight.  I also know that as I get closer to my GW (175 per the surgeon) that you are stubborn and don’t wanna let go.  I also know that it is partly Mouth and Brain’s fault because they let things slip through they shouldn’t.

So, as of yesterday, we have launched Operation Goal Weight.  Time to kick it.  I know we have to be careful with the exercise right now (hello stupid knees – looking at a 2nd knee surgery in the near future) but we sure as hell can control what goes into the pouch. 

So, it’s back to weighing and measuring.  It’s back to watching our fat grams (ahem, instead of just watching them go into the mouth).  It’s time to up the water, condense the protein, and get our ass in gear to get to that finish line.  I’m not looking for a sprint here, but I sure am looking for some forward movement.  Time to break this stall.  Time to break through.  Time to move our ass and shrink.

We’re 18 months out now.  Holy crap on a cracker when did that happen?  18 months.  And we’re bouncing around 187 to 190 like it’s our freaking job.  It’s time for a new job body.  So let’s put it in motion.  Let’s do what we know we’re supposed to do.  Limit those carbs!  Up that protein!  Get rid of that extra fat servings!  Stop that snacking!!!

We have vacation coming up Body.  And I fully expect that you don’t fall down on the job.  Yes, we’ll be unable to control about 50% of the food environment, but of the 50% we can control, let’s make sure we do it up good.  No greasey potatos at Aunt Fabby’s!  No sour cream and guac with that wonderful mexican food!  No fried chicken!  No tamales (did I just say that?).  No! NO! NO! 

Let’s do it.  We have until November 11th.  That’s right – November 11th.  Let’s shake it like a polaroid picture!!!

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A Recipe for Breaking A Stall

Sigh- so I had my 12 month follow up today.  Seems the only one being hard on me and my stall is myself.  They reminded me that I’ve lost over 100 pounds in a year, and that my body may just be happy where it is.

I’m not.

But I realized that just by going today and not cancelling my appointment (because of no weightloss) means I’ve won an important battle in this war.  I went.  And I asked for help.

First of all – I need to start really diarying again – both my food and my feelings.  And they hooked me up.  They made me realize that I’ve gotten too comfortable and in a routine – which is not good.  So, that’s step one.

Step two is to teach myself how to deal with stress and cravings.  They have given me an exercise to do to deal with the cravings – a tapping technique.  I’ll give it a try – what the heck do I have to lose?  And they recommended a book to deal with the snacking that’s come back in – 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food – I ordered a copy tonight.

Third – I need to remember how far I’ve come.

Fourth – I need to kick up my exercise intensity and level.  And make sure that on top of that, I get in 10,000 steps a day.

I have come a long way, and my team is thrilled.  I’m going to go see them again in 3 months to see if the tips and techniques they’ve given me work.

Keep your fingers crossed.  I just know I’m not done yet.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

First – my apologies.  Christie pointed out that she recommended The Daily Burn instead of the Daily Plate.  I am going to give it a try – from what I already see I like it better than the Daily Plate, so we’ll see.

Secondly, I got a lot of scolding from my friends yesterday about feeling like a failure.  It’s hard not to look at it that way when you have been stalled out for so long, and combined with the latest hormone surge (thank you very much weightloss surgery) I felt like a total and utter, “I’ll never ever be at goal weight” downer.  They pointed out that a loss of nearly 130 pounds is not a failure.

My wonderful friend Boxer also pointed out to me what has gotten me through stalls in the past – increasing protien and fluids.  I have been drinking my fluids, but I’ve not been drinking enough actual water, so I’m upping that starting today.

I will continue to diary my feelings and food so Cindy can look at my logs next week.  It’s painful to write down the crap I put in my mouth when I’m stressed out, and I have  a ton of stress lately, so maybe the accountability will be enough to scare me straight.

At least I’ve already had 58g of protein already today – that’s a start in the right direction.  I’m keeping up my am protein shake and boosting my breakfast protein.  Maybe that will help.  Also, once school is done, the stress will ease up at least for a month and I can focus more on just me.

Frustrated Doesn’t Even Begin to Cover It

This stall has gone on for too danged long.  I know what I need to do – I know I need to start diarying again – not just logging, but actually diarying – to figure out why I’m grazing so danged much.  Grrr.  I also know that from what I have logged, I’m still getting less than 1200 calories per day, BUT I’m pretty sure with my activity levels that my body needs more.  Perhaps it’s just holding on to everything possible.

At any rate, I’m just so frustrated with the darned scale bouncing up and down and I’m ashamed of the fact that I haven’t lost anything significant in the past three months.  That feeling of “failure” is creeping in and that always sends me into a spiral.  I need to get ahold of things and get them back on the right direction before the whole train derails.

What really sucks is that I’ve either torn or strained a tendon in my GOOD knee, and I’ve been told nothing stressful at the gym.  Unfortunately, that means the pool, which also unfortunately means its only open early two days per week – Wednesdays and Thursdays.  And my defeatest feelings are out, so I screwed myself by not setting my alarm early enough to go this morning – sabatoge anyone?

I’m recommitting to recommit.  Today.  I’ve started diarying again.  When I say that, it’s not just tracking what I ate, but what time I ate it, and what I was feeling when I ate it.  It was something they taught us in the bariatric program way back before surgery, and I really got away from it.  It helps you determine WHY you are putting food in your mouth.  I plan on saving these and going over them with Cindy on the 16th at my 12 month follow up.  I also need to talk out this stall with her – I think it will be valuable to me to talk to the behavioral therapist.  I’m soooo glad my practice has one.

I also need to recommit to the exercises, which aren’t easy when your knee is bunged up.  I’m terrified that the knee actually has a tear instead of a strain, which could mean more surgery.  UGH.  I plan on working through it though.  Today at lunch, I’m walking the stairs.  Tonight, I’m hitting the Wii.  Tomorrow, come hell or high water (no pun intended) I’m hitting the pool at the gym.

Over at Christie’s blog a week or so ago she did a review of The Daily Plate which is similar to SparkPeople for logging your calorie intake and fitness levels.  I decided to give it a try this morning, although I’ve been dedicated to my SparkPeople for years now.  I actually found it clunky to use – but it could be because I’m used to Sparkpeople.  It is a good option for those of you who want to track caloric intake.  I think I will stick with my SparkPeople though.  The Daily Plate told me I need to consume 1800 net calories per day in order to lose 2 pounds a week.  I haven’t eaten 1800 calories per day in over a year.  I don’t think I physically could, and that includes daily protein shakes.  Hmmm.  Maybe I’m NOT getting enough calories.

Anyway – here’s today’s food plan – and hopefully I’ll stick to that plan.

PreB – 16oz coffee with 2tbsp fat free half and half and sweet-n-low, and one pumpkin spice protein shake, my multivitamin, iron, chewable D3, folic acid, and b12

Breakfast – Michelina’s Lean Gourmet Sausage, Egg and Cheese Mini-muffin, 1/4c. of greek yogurt, 4 small cubes of watermelon (sigh, I needed change for the bus) and about 2 tbsp of dried berries.

Between B & L – 24oz of water, 12 oz. of decaf tea, 600mg of calcium citrate, magnesium

Lunch – one chicken thigh, 1c. of tossed salad with 2 tbsp salad dressing (I’m using real salad dressing) and 1 thin slice of toasted italian bread

Between L&D – 12 oz decaf tea and 24oz of water, 600mg calcium citrate, magnesium, 2nd multivitamin

Dinner – 6oz tilapia filet, 1 small baked potato, 1/2c. green beans

20oz water, dulcolax (sigh)

Exercise today:  Walking 20 minutes (to and from bus stop to work), 30 minutes climbing stairs (lunchtime), and 30 minutes Wii fit

Old Habits Die Hard

Ugh.  UGH UGH UGH.

I’ve been stressed lately, and that means I’ve been shoving food in my face that I have no business shoving in my face.  I’m over my honeymoon period, and now I’ve just got to step it up.

Stress is an ugly thing.  My body deals with stress by seeking comfort from food.  Which is leading to a big old stall, AND causing me to feel like absolute crap.  So, it’s time to go back to logging my food, upping my protein, and working my ass off at the gym.  You know, I used to think getting started on the weightloss path was the hardest part, but they aren’t kidding about those last pounds to your goal.  They are a real bitch.

In other news, since Turkey day is coming, there will be some more recipes posted.  I plan on making a sugar free sweet potato pie and a sugar free pimpkin cheesecake for the holidays this year.

Ugh – I’ve Gotten Too Comfortable

Hello, my name is Bea, and I’m a big old slacker.

I’ve been stuck at 200 pounds for what feels like forever.  And it’s finally dawned on me as to why…I’ve gotten too comfortable.

I’ve stopped measuring my food.  I’ve started to graze again.  AND, I’ve stopped going to the gym.

So, I know what I have to do, and as of today, I’m back on track.  I’m back to logging my food (duh), and I’m getting back into my exercise program.

My honeymoon is up, and now I’ve got to work at these last 60 pounds.  Even if it kills me.

The problem is, when you become to comfortable, you get too confident.  Confidence leads to apathy.  And Apathy leads to stalls.  Its a nasty cycle.

The good news is that, I have gone down in sizes over the past month – from a 20 to a 16.  But its time to get back on track – I’d like to be at my doctor’s goal by our anniversary in October – which is 175.  My personal goal of 140, I’d like to be there by New Years.

So it’s time to get Uncomfortable.

Let’s do this.

Yay!

The scale moved!!!

210 this morning!!

I knew going back to my tried and true method of concentrating on protein and fluids would work. 

I’m logging my food at sparkpeople now.  Don’t need to log it twice. 

And I’m seeing my support group tonight for dinner.  Yay!  I lurve those women!

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