Phew – My Body DOES Still Remember How to Lose Weight

I have not only take off the 7 pounds I gained while on disability, but I’ve lost an extra!  Down to 184.  Nearly down to my lowest weight of 183.  I will get to my goal weight in the next year.  I will I will I will.  I just have to focus on the important stuff – high quality dense protien, lots of fluids, and limiting my carbs.  And remembering that my pouch is there for a reason.

Once I get my ass back to exercising regularly, that will help too.  My knee is doing a lot better.  I’m back to full weight bearing, which means I’ve finally (after two months) ditched the crutches, and I actually have been walking pretty well.  Lots of swelling, and pain by the end of the day, but PT is working, and I’m regaining strength and flexibility – both are very important.  After my first knee sugery 3 years ago, it literally took me 18 months to go up and down the steps foot over foot.  Yesterday, I went both up (easier) and down(very hard) the stairs foot over foot without too many problems.  I can also stand my full weight on my right leg (briefly) and that took me six months the last time.

Progress!

Well, Whaddya Know….

My pouch still works.  And that’s a wonderful thing.  Since I have been back to eating good food (proteins, good carbs, high fiber, veggies) instead of slider foods, my pouch is telling me, “Whoa Nelly” and puts the brakes on.  That’s a good thing.  A very good thing.  And I’ve already taken off 3 pounds (I know, I shouldn’t weigh).  Also makes me happy.

And last night I actually did some exercise – if you count PT.  I did the bike.  I did the total gym (although I’m really NOT sure I’m supposed to be doing this because I think it counts as squats).  I did bridges (great for the ass and abs).  My knee hurt like a crack ho last night, but I did it.

And I didn’t over indulge during the hurricane or subsquent two days where we were without power, had 3.5 inches of water in our basement or a tree down in our front yard.  GO ME!  No stress eating!  YAY.

Now, I gotta keep this up!

I joined ediets.  I know, I know.  But I need something to hold me accountable, and cash is king.

I Done Did It!

 

Not the clearest picture in the world, but I was juggling a very strong 60 pound husky who was surrounded by all new sounds and people.  I finished up the March of Dimes March for Babies!  I love the fact that I can walk 2.5 miles now without feeling sore or winded (except for a sore arm from juggling my dog!).  I’m so glad the rain cleared out as well!  I love being fit and healthy!

Almost Overweight – and I Mean That in a Good Way

I’m 12 pounds from my doctor’s goal weight for me, which is 175.  12 pounds.  I’ve never been 12 pounds from a goal weight in my life.  My BMI is down to 32.1.  In 12 pounds, I’ll actually be “overweight” instead of “obese.”  This makes me so happy.

The weight is creeping off so slowly now.  I’m way past my honeymoon phase, and I really have to watch every single thing I put in my mouth, but my pouch is still working as it always has – no sugars can pass (dump city), I don’t handle fat or excess carbs well (oh the gas) and I’m really limited to about a cup to a cup and a half of food at each meal.

Lately I’ve really cut down on the snacking.  I’ve gotten much better at grabbing for something like fruit when I am having a snack attack.  I’ve increased my fluids back to the proper level, and have cut the caffeine out because it was becoming an addiction.  Thanks to my surgery, I can recognize that now.  I still love my coffee, but I have at least cut it back to exclusively decaf except for the weekends (a treat, and I have to finish up my k-cups).

I’ve lost 134 pounds from my highest weight – when I weighed in at Dr. McKenna’s office in April of 2009, I was 321 pounds.  Today I’m 187.

I’m down 117 pounds from my surgery weight of 304 in November of 2009.

I’m wearing size large shirts and 14 or 16 slacks depending on who makes them.

Life is good.  I’m living it.  I’m not dreaming about it anymore.

W00T! Aw Yeah Baby! I’m at the Grown Up Table Now!

It was always my dream to own a trenchcoat.  A gorgeous, camel colored trenchcoat.  I think they are classic and sophisticated looking.  And for years, they didn’t make them in my size, and if they did, they were not flattering – it looked more like a big ass camel colored tent.

So, last fall, I decided that I was going to reward myself with one for the spring.  I ordered a lovely trenchcoat, size 14, from Chadwicks.  It came shortly and it was beautiful.  Gorgeous.  And too small last fall.  But that’s ok – it was a spring coat.

And my body has changed in six months.  I’ve lost body fat and inches, even if the pounds have been creeping off slowly. 

Besides, it’s a Spring Coat.  Meant for warmer weather.  Which we have not had.  Until this weekend.  It is supposed to be nearly 70 degrees today before I leave work, and it was nearly 50 this morning.  Now, I had tried the coat on a few times this winter, just to see….but it was always a bit tight and kind of gaping a the buttons.  No pretty.

But this morning, I crossed my fingers and thought, “What the hell?”  And I put my beautiful camel colored trenchcoat on.

And it fit!!!!

Size 14!!!  A REGULAR size 14.  Not a plus sized 14.  REGULAR.  From a shop that runs small!! (I can wear some 14s already…but my coat…my beautiful coveted coat…well, I knew it was going to run small because Chadwicks does).  And it looks great.  And I felt grown up.  Now, I know that sounds funny coming from a 38 year old woman who has 8 grandkids…but I felt like a grown up. 

You see, when you are fat, you feel like you are perpetually dining at the kids table.  A metaphore so to speak.  As if to say, I want all those pretty grown up sophisticated things, but they don’t fit, and therefore I have to settle for wearing clothes that look as if they were designed for a 70 year old woman to wear on a cruise, or items that were made by Tessie the Tent Maker.  The constant wearing of clothing from the Kid’s Table.

But today, baby, I graduated to the grown up table.

In a beautiful, gorgeous, sophisticated, glamorous, Audry Hepburn style camel colored trench coat.

And because of that, I rock.

Pictures tonight, when my hubby can take ’em!  I actually woke him up this morning before work just to tell him my coat fit.  Yay!

This Was Unexpected – But a Good Unexpected

I had thought for sure that my body had just reached a weight that it was happy at.  Afterall, I haven’t weighed less than 200 pounds since, well, since the 7th grade, so I’m sure when it got under 200, it wasn’t sure what to do. 

It’s been no secret that my weightloss has been hella slow for nearly six months.  I was crushed about it before, but in the past three months had truly gotten to the point where I was ok with it.  I was healthy, and happy and that was all that mattered.

Until this week.  My body has not only decided that “Oh yeah we have a pouch!  We have restriction!!  We can not eat very much!!!  Throw on the “off” switch!” BUT it has also decided to let go of some weight.  That’s right!  I’m losing again!  Can I get an Amen?

I’m moving slowly downward, but have learned only to use the scale as a tool for saying, “This works” or “This definitely doesn’t.”  I no longer flog myself if the numbers go up slightly – there’s no point.  Just make an adjustment.  But by God, I’m freaking LOSING again.

I’ve decided I’m going to “count” the weight that I am on the first of the month.  I may take some new progress pics as well.  I’m solidly in the 180s now (yay!) and am hoping to be close to my goal weight by my 18 month follow up in May.

Whatever triggered my body to let go, I am thoroughly happy.  I’m less than 15 pounds from my surgeon’s goal weight now.  Yay!

Stress Eating Rears It’s Ugly Head

Those of you who follow my “life” blog  know that we had to put our sweet dog down yesterday.  She was full of cancer and it was in her best interest to relieve her of suffering.

Sadie was, for all intents and purposes, my baby.  I’m unable to have children of my own (and I love my step-daughters incredibly much) and Sadie and my kitties are my stand ins for that mothering instinct.  We had gotten Sadie nearly six years ago – adopted as an older dog that no one wanted due to her size.  She was the Best. Dog. Ever.  She had the sweetest temperment, adored our small grandchildren, was loving and faithful, nursed me through illness and surgery, and protected me from harm.  She never barked or growled (except at the UPS man) and I know we’ll never find another dog like her.  We plan on adopting another dog, but not until we return from a two week vacation in May/June.

Yesterday was hard on me.  We knew in the morning that we couldn’t get her in until the evening, and I was working from home.  I had to keep looking into those gorgeous brown eyes knowing that when we took her for a ride later, she wouldn’t be coming home with us.  To make things more traumatic, my husband elected NOT to have Sadie creamated and disposed of by our vet, but bring her home and burry her – not an easy feat since she was over 100 pounds.  That meant that I had to help him get her out of the car, deliver her to the back yard, and put her in her grave.  I did not handle it well.  I was ok until her sweet brown paws and velvety ear peeked out from the blanket they had her wrapped in and I lost it all over again.

And my brain went immediately during the day to stress eating.  I recognized it, and curbed it, but I’m amazed that even after all this time, and all the behavioral changes I’ve made over the past three months, that I immediately thought, “Chocolate is all that will get me through this horrible day.”  I am proud of myself for recognizing it though – and when I did snack, it was fruit or sugar free pudding.

In other news, I had my 15 month follow up yesterday.  I’m still solidly at 189 (yay!) and was down about 5 pounds from my 1 year appointment.  They are thrilled with the strides I’ve made on emotional eating and with my exercise routine.  My body fat percentage is now 40% instead of 41.5% – so I’m going in  the right direction.  I’m hoping to be down another 5 pounds by my 18 month follow up in May.  And, they are going to re-do my labs now instead of at 18 months because I’ve had a huge issue with constipation and leg cramps, so I think they are going to have to tweak my supplements.  I’m thinking I need LESS iron and MORE potassium.  Otherwise a good report!