Holy Hell, Where Has The Time Gone?

On Thursday, it will be my two year surgiversary.

Two years.

And where am I?

Well, I still hover at 183 pounds.  My body likes it here.  My doctor’s happy.  I’m happy.  And life is good.

Which is probably why I haven’t posted here much. 

Not that my journey is over in any way, shape, or form, but I feel that my weightloss journey has come to an end, and my maintenance journey has begun.  It’s time to get to the business of me being me without constantly nagging myself as to what goes in my mouth and analyzing every little bit of it.

That’s just the thing.  I don’t analyze anymore.  I’ve come to the point where I don’t have to think about every action, because now it is part of who I am.  I still have to watch what I eat, and be ever mindful of how easily I can still fail at this, but as for now, I consider myself a success.  And that makes me happy.

Two years in and of itself means a lot of changes in a person.  When you throw in a massive weightloss on top of that, and a life altering surgery, well, you become a different person all together.  For the first year, it was all about the weightloss, and the surgery, and what it was doing to my body. 

I learned that in the second year, it was more about learning to be happy with the person I was, with the person I had become, and with the person I am going to be.  And I have finally learned to be happy with who I am without thinking about the weight, or the physicality, or the mental aspects of spending my life morbidly obese.  I am me.  Bea.  And Bea is a pretty awesome person.  No matter what she weighs.

So with that, my dear readers, I have made the decision to put this blog to rest.  I’ll leave it up, and may post occasionally, but to dwell on the weightloss anymore at this point, it’s counter productive to me.  It’s time to deal with life. 

In fact, I’ve taken a bit of a blog break all around.  But I do plan on returning to regular blogging soon.  And if you still enjoy who I am, then I more than encourage you to visit me at my other blog.  I fully intend on just getting to the business of be me.

Thank you, my dear readers, for going on this journey with me.  Your encouragement has meant the world, and I hope you have learned from my journey.  If you are considering bariatric surgery, then I fully encourage you to learn about your surgery, and yourself.  And start a blog.  It’s amazing to go back and read my entries and my own transformation.

Thanks for reading, my friends.  Thanks.

Surgery Tomorrow

Will probably be blogging a lot more after tomorrow since I’ll be bed ridden for a while.  No weight bearing on the knee for six weeks.

Lord help my husband.

Send some good Ts & Ps my way!

A Mish Mash Update of Sorts

I haven’t posted here much (although I have made a post over at Casa de Pollo) but work has been crazy and I have physical therapy three nights a week now.  UGH.

So – we are getting ready to go to Colorado.  We leave next Wednesday (at 6am…gah) and we’ll be there until June 8th.  I’m so excited!  We’ll be all over the place as usual.  We will be in the Greeley/Ault/Pierce area from Wednesday to Saturday.  Saturday we’ll head over to Sterling, Julesburg, Osh Kosh, and we’ll be there until Monday.  Then Loveland/Estes Park/Colorado Springs through that Thursday the 2nd.  We’ll go back to Pierce for a couple of nights, over to Ft. Morgan for the weekend, back to Greeley, then Denver until we leave.  Holy Cow.  Plus, we’re supposed to meet the lovely Christie while we are out there and hopefully have lunch!  Lots of activities are planned, and we’re generally lucky enough to plan our food.  I do plan on having some mexican food while I’m there (um, homemade mexican food is a no brainer) and an order of Rocky Mountain oysters, but for the most part, we stock up at Walmart and carry our own food with us.  VACATION YAY!!

But of course, because of this vacation, I’m swamped at work trying to get everything done in time.  Sadly, I have meetings out the wazoo and have been desparately trying to find time to get it all done!  Plus I have two baby blankets to finish crocheting before I go.  One is done, and I have one more to go.  The good news is, I’m too busy to eat!

So, an update on the knees.  I went to the ortho, and I have bone spurs in my right knee (the good one) and apparently the knee cap is over to the right instead of being in the center.  These are the exact same issues I had three years ago with my left knee.  I’ve been doing PT three nights a week, and the therapist has essentially told me not much can be done for the pain, but they can get my knee ready for the surgery.  Yay.  More surgery.  Hopefully I can schedule it later this summer.  The knee has really affected my ability to do a strong cardio workout and I don’t currently have access to a pool.  I’m not supposed to do anything that will aggrevate the knee (so that the bone on bone doesn’t make things worse), so the weight loss is once again STALLED OUT.  Sigh.

On a funny note, my therapist is also a bariatric patient.  She had RNY about four months after me.  We had the exact same starting weight and we have lost exactly the same amount.  Our surgeries were also done by the same practice.  LOL  We were comparing war stories Monday night.  She happened to be my therapist three years ago on my left knee.  Ah…living in a small town.

So, that’s the latest…what’s new with all of you?

Commencing Operation Goal Weight

Alright Body.  I know you are loving hanging on to this weight.  I also know that as I get closer to my GW (175 per the surgeon) that you are stubborn and don’t wanna let go.  I also know that it is partly Mouth and Brain’s fault because they let things slip through they shouldn’t.

So, as of yesterday, we have launched Operation Goal Weight.  Time to kick it.  I know we have to be careful with the exercise right now (hello stupid knees – looking at a 2nd knee surgery in the near future) but we sure as hell can control what goes into the pouch. 

So, it’s back to weighing and measuring.  It’s back to watching our fat grams (ahem, instead of just watching them go into the mouth).  It’s time to up the water, condense the protein, and get our ass in gear to get to that finish line.  I’m not looking for a sprint here, but I sure am looking for some forward movement.  Time to break this stall.  Time to break through.  Time to move our ass and shrink.

We’re 18 months out now.  Holy crap on a cracker when did that happen?  18 months.  And we’re bouncing around 187 to 190 like it’s our freaking job.  It’s time for a new job body.  So let’s put it in motion.  Let’s do what we know we’re supposed to do.  Limit those carbs!  Up that protein!  Get rid of that extra fat servings!  Stop that snacking!!!

We have vacation coming up Body.  And I fully expect that you don’t fall down on the job.  Yes, we’ll be unable to control about 50% of the food environment, but of the 50% we can control, let’s make sure we do it up good.  No greasey potatos at Aunt Fabby’s!  No sour cream and guac with that wonderful mexican food!  No fried chicken!  No tamales (did I just say that?).  No! NO! NO! 

Let’s do it.  We have until November 11th.  That’s right – November 11th.  Let’s shake it like a polaroid picture!!!

Happy Easter Y’all!

We’re having a completely WLS friendly dinner tomorrow!  Ham and turkey breast, balsamic and green onion potato salad, turnip greens, deviled eggs, cucumbers in sour cream (low fat!), and a big old fruit salad. 

My easter basket (from my hubby) contained banana chips (NOM) and dried mixed berries.  Yay!

Goal before May 25th – lose the last 12 pounds to my doctor’s goal weight!

I’m a hot sexy bunny y’all!!

Almost Overweight – and I Mean That in a Good Way

I’m 12 pounds from my doctor’s goal weight for me, which is 175.  12 pounds.  I’ve never been 12 pounds from a goal weight in my life.  My BMI is down to 32.1.  In 12 pounds, I’ll actually be “overweight” instead of “obese.”  This makes me so happy.

The weight is creeping off so slowly now.  I’m way past my honeymoon phase, and I really have to watch every single thing I put in my mouth, but my pouch is still working as it always has – no sugars can pass (dump city), I don’t handle fat or excess carbs well (oh the gas) and I’m really limited to about a cup to a cup and a half of food at each meal.

Lately I’ve really cut down on the snacking.  I’ve gotten much better at grabbing for something like fruit when I am having a snack attack.  I’ve increased my fluids back to the proper level, and have cut the caffeine out because it was becoming an addiction.  Thanks to my surgery, I can recognize that now.  I still love my coffee, but I have at least cut it back to exclusively decaf except for the weekends (a treat, and I have to finish up my k-cups).

I’ve lost 134 pounds from my highest weight – when I weighed in at Dr. McKenna’s office in April of 2009, I was 321 pounds.  Today I’m 187.

I’m down 117 pounds from my surgery weight of 304 in November of 2009.

I’m wearing size large shirts and 14 or 16 slacks depending on who makes them.

Life is good.  I’m living it.  I’m not dreaming about it anymore.

Battling the CARB MONSTER

So…one of the nice things about my RNY is my aversion to sweets.  Well, let me rephase that…my POUCH”s aversion to sweets.

What I’m not cured from – carbs.  I love bread…and potatos and pasta and rice…and oh my the salty.  And lately, I’ve been indulging again.  I don’t know what happens to my brain on weekends, but during the week I’m all “hey look at me eating healthy!” and on the weekends I’m all “GIVE ME PANCAKES NOWWWWW!”  Sigh.

So, I’m cutting back on the carbs again.  Sigh.  Lord help the headaches.

In other news, my body is really changing.  I’m down to a solid size 14 in pants/slacks.  And this weekend, I had to go to Old Navy to stock up on some new shirts – with grandkids and pets and me being a general clutz, my shirts casual shirts always end up stained and sad looking.  Plus, my extra larges were starting to look “stretched out.”  In reality, they weren’t stretched out…I was getting smaller.

So I got about 5 new shirts, and a cardigan.  All size large.  Yay!  W00t!  My body is changing and I’m losing inches. 

And thank goodness for body shapers.  Because I still jiggle like Jobba the Hut.

I know if I had surgery to remove the extra skin, I’d be in size 10 or 12 pants and probably a medium shirt.  But it’s surgery.  And my body says “Enough with the knives and the cutting and the pain and the recovery!  Gimme a break already!”  So jiggle I will.  As long as they make spanx. 

I need to get some new clothes before we go to Colorado in May.  My capris from last year are size 20s or size 18s and loose now.  I don’t want to moon the family.  Yay for cheapos at Old Navy!

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