Well, Whaddya Know….

My pouch still works.  And that’s a wonderful thing.  Since I have been back to eating good food (proteins, good carbs, high fiber, veggies) instead of slider foods, my pouch is telling me, “Whoa Nelly” and puts the brakes on.  That’s a good thing.  A very good thing.  And I’ve already taken off 3 pounds (I know, I shouldn’t weigh).  Also makes me happy.

And last night I actually did some exercise – if you count PT.  I did the bike.  I did the total gym (although I’m really NOT sure I’m supposed to be doing this because I think it counts as squats).  I did bridges (great for the ass and abs).  My knee hurt like a crack ho last night, but I did it.

And I didn’t over indulge during the hurricane or subsquent two days where we were without power, had 3.5 inches of water in our basement or a tree down in our front yard.  GO ME!  No stress eating!  YAY.

Now, I gotta keep this up!

I joined ediets.  I know, I know.  But I need something to hold me accountable, and cash is king.

UGH…I Repeat…UGH UGH UGH

So, now that I can put a little weight on my knee, I decided to get on the scale this morning.

Duhn duhn dhun…

Up 7 pounds.

Holy shit.

Time to get back to basics.  This morning, I had a protien shake and a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.  I need my oatmeal to keep things moving.  So, I had oatmeal, mixed with some frozen blueberries and about a tsp of chopped walnuts for some good fat.  Lunch will be tuna salad, and dinner is some fresh croaker that our friends gave us when we were on vacation this past week.

I know, I know.  7 pounds over 8 weeks should not freak me out quite so much, but it does.  I can’t exercise right now.  Can’t.  My knee won’t hold me as it is simply not strong enough to do a decent cardio work out.  Hell, I can’t even walk right now.  And I know I’ve been shoveling food in my face left and right.  CARBS.  CARBS ARE MADE OF EVIL.  So, it’s back to good proteins, lots of fruit and veggies, and upping the water intake.  No carbies.  NO NO NO.

Must. Lose. Seven Pounds.  Quickly.

Sigh.

I hate surgery.  And I hate my eating disorder.  For real.

Two Weeks Out

I’m two weeks out from knee surgery today.  Not exercizing and eating too many carbs (thanks to my husband) are really starting to get to my poor stomach.  I’m living on gas ex and pepto bismal.  Which also means I’m taking control of the menu as of TODAY.  UGH.

My knee is repairing well, we think.  There’s no way of really knowing until I start PT.  And at this point, we have no idea when that will be (reminds me, I need to send an update to my therapists letting them know surgery went ok).  I got all the staples and two stitches out yesterday.  That was the first time I’d actually seen my knee (except for a peek here and there) since surgery.  Ew.  And I almost passed out when I got my stitches out.  Learned a valuable lesson – can’t watch that kind of thing…LOL.  My knee is still quite swollen, and the doctor said he had to do a lot more work that the initial MRIs let on.  I had three very large cartilage defects, numerous bone spurs, and tendons had to be cut (which means he did perform a lateral release).

Let me tell you folks, gastric bypass surgery has NOTHING on knee surgery.  After seven days from my gastric bypass, I was feeling great.  I’m two weeks out from knee surgery and still struggling.  Knee pain is there at night (not so much during the day), and getting around on crutches is a pain in the ass.  Non-weight bearing means I am not supposed to put any weight on it at all.  UGH.  And now, they’ve replaced my staples with steri-strips.  Well, I’m allergic to adhesives.  Which means my knee is itching UP A STORM.  LOL

I miss exercise.  I miss eating right. I’ve lost weight, but I’m not eating the right things, and I know I’m not getting enough water.   Need to get my head around all of this.  Sigh.

What Happens When You Spend Your Life Carrying Around 100 Plus Extra Pounds

Your knees go to pot.

I had a follow up with my ortho to go over my MRIs and the progress from my PT.  Sigh.

I have severe arthritis in my right knee (well, duh).  It came from favoring it for years while my left knee walked around dislocated.  Plus, an additional 136 pounds on my frame didn’t help.  The arthritis in my right knee is going to require surgery.  I’m to continue PT until my surgery date (July 13).  Then my ortho is going to do a sugery which requires a cartilage grapht.  This means he’s going to open my knee up, take out my knee cap and turn it over.  Then he’s going to clean it off, attach a cartilage grapht to the back, and put it back in.  I admit, I kind of stopped listening when he said “Take out the knee cap” and had to get him to repeat it.

I asked if he couldn’t do the sugery he did three years ago on the left knee, but he said this sugery will last longer and stave off the knee replacements a little longer.

I’m going to spend my summer in a knee immobilizer.  Four to six weeks without being able to bend my knee.  Which to me, seems excrutiating.  I had to deliver this news to my boss (we are trying to work out the details of my disability).  I plan on taking two weeks of short term disability (at least) and then working the rest of my rehab at home.  I don’t want to leave work high and dry and I don’t want to screw up my chances at a promotion this year.  So sad that I’m considering that.  But I won’t be able to go to work.  I don’t see how I can.  I won’t be able to drive, and the thought of navigating the mean streets of Baltimore through public transportation while having my leg in an immobilizer squicks me out.  Getting on the train will be a bitch.  And Bob will not be getting up at 6am to drive me too and from the train station.  But even then, once I get downtown, I’d have to rely on the bus system…and walking to the bus station in the afternoon up one of the steepest hills in Baltimore.

I’m also worried about putting weight back on.  Terrified in fact.  I won’t be able to exercise except at PT.

And the fact that I know already that this is going to hurt like a mofo.  When I had my left knee operated on, they did a lateral release of the knee cap which involved cutting the tendons that hold it in place.  That hurts.  A lot.  Bending and straightening your left is painful.

So, send me some prayers.  I won’t chicken out, but the thought of this surgery is mindbending for me.  I guess it will prepare me for my eventual knee replacements.  Which I already know I need but no doctor worth his salt will to them on someone my age.  I did find out that I had bad knees when I was 18.  I have degenerative cartilage disease, which would have happened whether I was overweight or not.  Unfortunately, years of being obese sped up the knee problems.

So, if you are considering bariatric surgery, I say do it now.  And do your knees a favor.

A Mish Mash Update of Sorts

I haven’t posted here much (although I have made a post over at Casa de Pollo) but work has been crazy and I have physical therapy three nights a week now.  UGH.

So – we are getting ready to go to Colorado.  We leave next Wednesday (at 6am…gah) and we’ll be there until June 8th.  I’m so excited!  We’ll be all over the place as usual.  We will be in the Greeley/Ault/Pierce area from Wednesday to Saturday.  Saturday we’ll head over to Sterling, Julesburg, Osh Kosh, and we’ll be there until Monday.  Then Loveland/Estes Park/Colorado Springs through that Thursday the 2nd.  We’ll go back to Pierce for a couple of nights, over to Ft. Morgan for the weekend, back to Greeley, then Denver until we leave.  Holy Cow.  Plus, we’re supposed to meet the lovely Christie while we are out there and hopefully have lunch!  Lots of activities are planned, and we’re generally lucky enough to plan our food.  I do plan on having some mexican food while I’m there (um, homemade mexican food is a no brainer) and an order of Rocky Mountain oysters, but for the most part, we stock up at Walmart and carry our own food with us.  VACATION YAY!!

But of course, because of this vacation, I’m swamped at work trying to get everything done in time.  Sadly, I have meetings out the wazoo and have been desparately trying to find time to get it all done!  Plus I have two baby blankets to finish crocheting before I go.  One is done, and I have one more to go.  The good news is, I’m too busy to eat!

So, an update on the knees.  I went to the ortho, and I have bone spurs in my right knee (the good one) and apparently the knee cap is over to the right instead of being in the center.  These are the exact same issues I had three years ago with my left knee.  I’ve been doing PT three nights a week, and the therapist has essentially told me not much can be done for the pain, but they can get my knee ready for the surgery.  Yay.  More surgery.  Hopefully I can schedule it later this summer.  The knee has really affected my ability to do a strong cardio workout and I don’t currently have access to a pool.  I’m not supposed to do anything that will aggrevate the knee (so that the bone on bone doesn’t make things worse), so the weight loss is once again STALLED OUT.  Sigh.

On a funny note, my therapist is also a bariatric patient.  She had RNY about four months after me.  We had the exact same starting weight and we have lost exactly the same amount.  Our surgeries were also done by the same practice.  LOL  We were comparing war stories Monday night.  She happened to be my therapist three years ago on my left knee.  Ah…living in a small town.

So, that’s the latest…what’s new with all of you?

Commencing Operation Goal Weight

Alright Body.  I know you are loving hanging on to this weight.  I also know that as I get closer to my GW (175 per the surgeon) that you are stubborn and don’t wanna let go.  I also know that it is partly Mouth and Brain’s fault because they let things slip through they shouldn’t.

So, as of yesterday, we have launched Operation Goal Weight.  Time to kick it.  I know we have to be careful with the exercise right now (hello stupid knees – looking at a 2nd knee surgery in the near future) but we sure as hell can control what goes into the pouch. 

So, it’s back to weighing and measuring.  It’s back to watching our fat grams (ahem, instead of just watching them go into the mouth).  It’s time to up the water, condense the protein, and get our ass in gear to get to that finish line.  I’m not looking for a sprint here, but I sure am looking for some forward movement.  Time to break this stall.  Time to break through.  Time to move our ass and shrink.

We’re 18 months out now.  Holy crap on a cracker when did that happen?  18 months.  And we’re bouncing around 187 to 190 like it’s our freaking job.  It’s time for a new job body.  So let’s put it in motion.  Let’s do what we know we’re supposed to do.  Limit those carbs!  Up that protein!  Get rid of that extra fat servings!  Stop that snacking!!!

We have vacation coming up Body.  And I fully expect that you don’t fall down on the job.  Yes, we’ll be unable to control about 50% of the food environment, but of the 50% we can control, let’s make sure we do it up good.  No greasey potatos at Aunt Fabby’s!  No sour cream and guac with that wonderful mexican food!  No fried chicken!  No tamales (did I just say that?).  No! NO! NO! 

Let’s do it.  We have until November 11th.  That’s right – November 11th.  Let’s shake it like a polaroid picture!!!

Blah…and Ugh…and WTF?

My pouch is saying  a big fat emphatic NO to everything today. 

How about yogurt?  NO

Tuna (which I eat 2 or 3 times a week)?  NO

Hummus?  HELL NO

ARGH frustrating.  Because I need my protein.  Me thinks my period may be about to start (which would be awesome because it means I’ll have it and be done by the time I go on vacay next mont) but seriously, picky pouch is now part of PMS?  (alliteration much?)

Very frustrating.

And last night, I dreamed I ate a reece’s cup the size of my head.  I kept waiting to dump but didn’t, so I kept eating.  Man I miss reece’s cups.  🙂

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